Sunday, September 16, 2012

Reconnecting With Him After The Breakup - Relationship Advice Man

You?re broken up. You and the man you love. He was everything to you. He was your world and your constant companion through every day and you miss him. You feel heartache and pain. If you weren?t upset there would probably be a question in your heart over whether you actually loved him at all in the first place and now you want to get him back.

You miss your best friend. You miss everything about him. Even when things were circling the drain you started missing him. You miss that unspoken connection that the two of you shared. You miss sharing everything with him and you wonder if he misses you the same way. You want to talk to him but you are scared that if you do the wrong thing it will just make matters worse. He is so important to you and you are petrified that you will make the wrong move.

Resist that temptation to reach out to him too soon after the breakup. I know that you feel like you?re going out of your mind. You make deals with yourself and you bargain with yourself every day. You tell yourself that if you don?t contact him then he has no way of knowing that you still care about him after the breakup. You worry that he will think that you have simply moved on so you want to call him.

Resist this temptation to call him at any cost. Do whatever you have to do to keep this urge in check. Think about what it will feel like if he rejects you or if he doesn?t answer your call. What if he sends you to voicemail or what if you hear another woman in the background? It is very easy for your mind to play tricks on you and you might find yourself even worse off than you are right now if you?re not careful. You?ll want to spy on him and find out what is going on in his life. You?ll have crazy thoughts that he really has moved on without you and you?ll search for clues to prove that this fear is true.

Put it off until tomorrow and tomorrow you?ll put it off for another day. Make yourself a good healthy meal or go for a walk someplace that is pleasant for you. Maybe you can plan a trip for when you actually do get him back and spend some time thinking positive thoughts and dreaming about the day when you do get him back. Visit some friends or go shopping with a girlfriend. Whatever you do, avoid self destructive behavior like staying up too late or going out to the bar for a few drinks. As tempting as that might seem, alcohol can weaken your resistance and make you more likely to break down and call him.

So, when can you actually get back in touch with him again? You should look for signs like when you no longer feel the overwhelming desire to find out what is going on in his life. Once you feel that you can take him or leave him and your self-esteem can deal with his potential rejection again then you will know that the time is near for you to call him again. Once there is no pressure to talk to him then you can be yourself again and that should be your goal. The more you need him, the more likely he is to feel that need and unconsciously want to reject you out of instinct.

All of this is why it is so important that you get your life back together after the breakup. Working at helping your heart to heal and caring for yourself again can be difficult after the breakup. Your ego has taken a tremendous blow and you might not feel too good about yourself. After all, the one that you loved has rejected you. But you need to understand what caused the rift between the two of you and what you can do to get him back after the breakup. The sooner you get back on your feet, the sooner you can work towards winning him over.

Often it is easier to see what the problem is from the outside looking in. Often it is misunderstandings and an imbalance in the relationship that causes couples to break up. Maybe he started drifting away from you. As a result you starting trying harder to make everything right. As a result of that, he was even more turned off by you as you lost value in his eyes. Fixing a relationship is very easy. The difficult part is actually doing what is necessary to make things right. Our egos get involved as we want that which we once had so fiercely that we lower ourselves to the point that we?re pathetic and needy.

If you really want to get him back after the breakup, we recommend Get Him Back Forever by Matt Huston. Learn about using male psychology to make him want you back.

Source: http://relationshipadviceman.com/reconnecting-with-him-after-the-breakup/

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